Whew.....it's been a while!

Time is flying by so fast. I waste my days away wishing time would slow down, and at the end of each day I'm angry at myself for not DOING something that day. Whether it be packing a single box--which I haven't done yet--to just being outside savoring the day with the kids, or going to the park, or having coffee with a friend, you name it....I haven't done it. I sit here in my house THINKING about moving, looking at pictures of our future home, being sad whenever a sad song plays on the radio, reading my book so that I don't think of things that are too painful. I find myself pulling away--from friends, our church, the kids' schools. I, wrongly, think it'll make it easier in the end to leave. It couldn't be further from the truth. I think there's also a little depression sinking in there somewhere, too.

A couple weeks ago, my girlfriends started planning an overnighter for all of us to take. It happened to fall on the same day as the kids got out of school. I, immedietly thought NO WAY...I can't be gone on their last day of school! Chuck won't be home that weekend, and I need to be here to taxi everyone around. Well, emails started flooding my inbox from my friends. They were all tear-jerkers. You know, the ones that say how much I mean to them, that it's just hitting them that I'm actually leaving. They all said that we NEEDED this night....one last hurrah for a while. I put everyone on hold until I could figure this out. My wonderful neighbor Gail (and closest friend) suggested that her husband Chad(Chuck's closest friend) take the boys camping with him that night at Gail's parents house. It's their Rendezvous weekend (I don't know if you remember that from last year--they shoot bow, tomahawk throw, etc.) and he wanted to take the boys with him that night anyway. Soooo...I thought, the girls will be doing something with their friends that night, guaranteed, so I commited to go with my girlfriends. They all continued to e-mail with such uplifting messages, letting me know that however far away we are from each other, we will always be close. We have a friend that moved away 2 years ago, and she sent me some wonderful advice and kind words of encouragement. It struck me then....Why am I pulling away from all of these great women when I need them THE MOST!! Like they reminded me, that's why we choose the friends we do. We want to be supported, encouraged, reassured that everything will be alright. I felt so much better, even though I shed more tears that week than I have in months.


So...this week I'm going to have a new attitude! I'm GOING to start boxing things up, I'm GOING to spend time with friends and get outside, I'm GOING to start making arrangements.....I'm GOING to be O.K.!! Like all these great women said.....this will be a fantastic adventure......



Here's to you, ladies.....